Take it Sleazy
I found a new job!
I should be jumping around my house, or whistling the fishin' hole while walking around the city, I have been juggling so many tasks, responsibilities, social gatherings, family problems, duties, jobs, chores, self-assignments, and more synonyms that mean the same thing, that I couldn't stop for a moment and savor the fact that I will be bringing some bread home.
Very few times a TV show script made me feel so warm and fuzzy and full of optimism as The Good Place. I know it can be cringey and their philosophy allegories are a bit tongue-in-cheek sometimes but the progress every character experiments over the course of the show is inspiring.
The best episode as it happens when you've built an emotional rapport with the whole endeavor during several seasons is the last one, and it's best depicted in Michael's last sentence, Take It Sleazy. Silly, quirky, childish, and yet extremely powerful. Just relax and let it happen. Enjoy the little things, don't sweat the bad stuff too much if it's not serious, and let go of the illusion of control.
Millenials like me we get so often caught of on the vicious loop of self-improvement, productivity-hacks, side-hustles, passive income, fitness goals, learning objectives, career-progression, and so forth, that we forget that yes, hard work pays off generally, but no guarantees. And for the great (public) figures we look up to, a big amount of luck has come into play for them to get where they stand.
My aunt has never had any major health issues in her life. She drinks alcohol, smokes, and doesn't have a rigorous diet either. Still, she laughs all the time, is completely incapable of thinking that anything might go wrong, she enjoys her steady and relaxed job, and she's always traveling with her husband, kids, or going out with friends. My aunt is 65! One might argue that she was just lucky, but I am sure there's more to that, that her health is also a function of how she sees life, and how she doesn't care that much.
It's harder for me because I was educated in a very anxious family, and when I was a kid & teenager my father pushed me to be brilliant, hard-working, and a go-getter. There was a lot of shouting, short bursts of anger combined with short bursts of love and understanding, but it was a rollercoaster. No physical harm, just that... constant tension.
I need to read a lot of documentation and brush up my technical skills for the upcoming job, I am terrified, I cannot be fired again.
However, I will do my best, and fuck it. I am going to Take It Sleazy.